Ep3: What Confidence Is, and What It’s Not

6 minutes
  • 3 years ago
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Do you really know what confidence is? It definitely can’t be bought. You’ve been surrounded by fake confidence for so long you may not realize. Listen here to find out what true confidence is, and how to build it.

Episode Transcript


Hey there and welcome to I Can, I Am, I Will. The world’s number one podcast for confidence and self-empowerment. This is our third episode in 100 podcasts in 100 days. I am Lyndsey your confidence coach. And here we will discuss how you can stop limiting yourself so you can build confidence and achieved goals. I what you self-empowered and get that self-confidence and go out and do the things. And when I say the things, I mean the things that will make you happy. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else.

What Confidence Is Not

Today we’re going to talk about the definition of confidence, what it is, and what it isn’t. So sometimes confidence can be misunderstood or cockiness can be misunderstood as confidence. And people who are cocky or have like an overinflated vision of themselves can be seen as confidence. But that is not confidence. And a great way for you to test it is to consider that confidence—and keep in your mind—that confidence is not loud. Confidence is not proud. It’s not as they say “peacocking.” Where the guys will like puff up their chest and wear certain things to try and attract the opposite sex. Or whoever they’re trying to attract. Who knows.

But that is not confidence.

Confidence is not flashy car or nice clothes. Confidence cannot be bought. Confidence is an internal thing and confidence is a belief in yourself. It’s a self-empowerment. It is a feeling of self-assurance and it is an appreciation of your abilities in your qualities. Competence is self-love. It’s empowerment. Confidence is an internal thing. It is not external. It is internally within you. It is your birthright. You deserve to have it. We are digging it up. We’re talking about it. We’re mixing things around. Pulling it to the surface.

But confidence is not bitch face or acting like you’re better than others. I was looking up different confidence coaches and this one, she has a different style than I do. I personally do not agree with her style. And she had. I want it—I want the environment here to be more inviting. I want to be inviting of you. I want to be compassionate. This stuff is tough and you are essentially learning a skill. You are learning about something that you have inherently inside of you. But has been pushed down and when you build it you were bringing it back up to surface.

What Confidence Is

But as you bring it back up to surface there are other things are going to come up. The things that were holding it down. And you have to work through all that. And it can be difficult. It can be challenging. So I like this to be a compassionate environment because I want to show you compassion while you’re trying to find your own self compassion. I think that is the most beautiful thing in the world we are thriving off of each other. But then I see this one woman’s website and not to dog her or anything. I’m not making fun of her. She has just a different style than I do for confidence. She thinks confidence is like, it seemed like almost like a like a scary strength. She had pictures of herself on her website it was like as if someone was like laying down and they were taking shots up of her. And she had her arms crossed and she had this very serious stern face on and she was standing with her shoulders back and that was her there her vision of confidence.

You go on my site, it’s me like laughing. Because confidence is not mean. Confidence is not bitch face. Confidence is not acting like you’re better than other people. That is not confidence. That is someone who is trying to project confidence, but does not have confidence. And you know how I know that? Because I used to do that. Game recognizes game. I used to do that. I used to feel like I had to stand tall and walk tall and I wasn’t able to smile because I need to look serious and stern. So people would take me seriously, and they would think I was confident.

Now, I mean, I still walk tall with my shoulders back because just from all the workouts and like shoulder moves and everything, I have to do it. But I’m walking around with a smile on my face and I say hi to people and I’m friendly and I just hope that everyone’s having a glorious day. That is confidence.

Creating Your Version of Confidence

And I’m not saying—that-that’s my version of confidence—I’m not saying that you need to walk around and be smiles all the time. Believe me, I’m not either. But confidence definitely is not feeling like you need to have a bitchface on and look angry and mean. That’s not confidence. I don’t know what that is. Someone trying to project confidence. But that’s definitely not confident. That someone that is trying to act confidently and they think that’s what confidence is.

I seriously used to do it myself. I’m not sure where it comes from. It’s like you just think that that’s what confidence is. That confident people are just serious. And they’re always like, I don’t know, like asserting themselves. But that is not really confidence.

Confidence is your self-assurance in your abilities to overcome. And that’s also what positivity is. So positivity is knowing that things can and will get better. That is so closely related to confidence. Because when you are confident, you have the assurance in your abilities. So if something is not going great you believe that you can make it work. That is equal to positivity. Thinking things can and will get better. And that is what I will be teaching you here. To have the confidence, to build the confidence, to have the belief in yourself. That you can. That you are. That you will. I can, I am, I will.

And if you want to walk around with the bitchface on, your arms crossed looking all stern and stuff, I mean live your dreams. But that is not my style and I am confidently me honey so imma do me OK.

Confident Close

That is our podcast for today. I hope that I gave some clarity on what confidence is, and what it is not. And I hope that you have a great rest of your day. But you were not rid of me yet, we’re going to end with our iffirmation. Are you ready?

I can,

 I am,

 I will.

Have a great day.

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