Overthink Afterthoughts

If you’re like me, after you finish a TV series or a book, you want more. Don’t worry, I got you!

Welcome to Overthink Afterthoughts. Here I’ll share three main themes I noticed while writing Overthink, and some easter eggs in the book.

If you’re here by accident, learn more about Overthink and how to calm your thoughts, here.

Three main themes:
1. How daunting it is to try something new
2. How often people judge thoughts on an over/under scale (it’s a lot)
3. The importance of asking the right questions
Hidden details

Three main themes

How daunting it is to try something new

The book writing processes reminded me of personal development efforts. Buying things you don’t need, not seeing quick results and wanting to give up. By the time I uploaded the book to Amazon, I was too exhausted and wondering what else I needed to do that I did not celebrate.

I was breaking my own advice of celebrating small wins and living the reality that advice can be so much easier to give than to take. It had me thinking about you and how you may not feel like celebrating when you have a small win. So I did take a break, celebrated the win, and cried when I held my book in my hands. I carry a copy with me basically everywhere I go now.

Making mistakes is a natural part of trying something new, but it can feel even harder when the world around us isn’t always supportive (or when people brag about unrealistic results in record time). But even with all the challenges, trying new things can also be rewarding. It’s a chance to learn, grow, and discover new passions. So, even when it feels daunting, it’s worth giving it a try.

My newest quote is: “isn’t the dream of a lifetime worth a lifetime to achieve?”

And for you, dear friend, I ask you to ask yourself, isn’t a healthy mindset that will pave the way for lifelong dreams something to work at even when it’s tough? I hope you give yourself space to celebrate that you are trying!

How often people judge thoughts on an over/under scale (it’s a lot)

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was “overthinking” the book, I’d have at least fifty bucks. Initially, I found it amusing and brushed it off with a laugh. However, as the comments kept coming in, they became increasingly frustrating. And not everyone was joking; some genuinely judged my thoughts on an over/under scale.

I understand it’s not personal. If people are evaluating my thoughts, they likely apply the same scrutiny to their own. This became evident as the book neared its release.

When people learn I’m writing a book on “overthinking,” the most frequent question they ask is whether they are overthinking things. They often share a story about their passion, explaining they think about it a lot because it’s intricate and they want it to be the best it can be. From these conversations, I’ve realized that many people don’t recognize the joy and fulfillment that can come from deeply engaging with something you’re passionate about.

In response, I ask them if their thoughts interfere with their sleep or self-care. If they struggle to switch off their thoughts to enjoy a show or get some rest, it might be time to focus on calming their mind. However, being excited about something and having racing thoughts because you’re passionate? That sounds fun and healthy to me!

The importance of asking the right questions

When it comes to asking questions, Overthink took the approach of showing rather than telling, and included 119 questions!

Questions appeared in dialogue, in writing prompts I asked you to respond to, and in prompts designed to encourage you to consider different perspectives. For instance, in Rule #4, “I Can Reject What Others Think”:

“We’re conditioned to seek approval from others and hope that they will like us. But do we like them? We’re encouraged to make our parents proud, but are we proud of them? We’re told to take advice, but is the advice truly helpful?”

Asking questions can be intimidating. You might fear the answers or struggle to identify the right questions to ask. However, learning to ask the right questions is crucial. Overthink gave you a solid starting point, and as you continue to ask questions, you’ll get better at identifying the most important ones to ask. And the more you practice, the better you’ll become at finding meaningful answers.

As a general rule, remember that your focus is on returning to yourself. Concentrate on whether you like someone rather than if they like you. Establish boundaries to foster healthy relationships rather than wondering why you “attract” toxic people.

Hidden details

Overthink is filled with easter eggs. For example, the Evaluate step of the ICE Method is designed to enhance emotional intelligence by reframing thoughts to foster self-motivation. Since there were so many concepts already being thrown at you, I chose not to introduce emotional intelligence directly.

I aimed to make the book inclusive by carefully selecting names for examples that are popular across different cultures. For the main character, Marcus, I opted for a name traditionally associated with black men, as they are often less inclined to seek therapy and focus on introspection.

In the relationship examples, I used non-gendered scenarios to encompass all types of relationships. I also introduced a non-gendered name, Toni to be trans inclusive, and a traditionally male name, Dante, to encourage men to express their emotions rather than suppressing them.

Additionally, I incorporated diverse perspectives, such as questioning our pride in our parents and challenging toxic beliefs like toxic gratitude and the reasons behind attracting toxic individuals.

I tried, hard, to create a balance of complexity and simplicity. After I sent the first draft to my editor, I was sick for a week due to sheer exhaustion from trying to include as much valuable content as possible. Sometime I worry it may be too much packed in and my hope is that readers revisit it multiple times to uncover all its valuable insights.

Bye for now…

While there are three main themes, I realized a primary theme in Overthink after all was said and done: how rewarding it is to take on new challenges and accomplish goals.

While the process of starting something new can be difficult at times, and technology and society can make it more difficult than it needs to be, the end result is so very worth it!

I sincerely hope I helped you understand your thoughts better. And I often think of you and hope you’re either doing your best or giving yourself space to strive for improvement.

Sign up here to receive updates on new books and articles: