Nearly everyone struggles with the repetitive thoughts and irritating mental chatter of overthinking. It’s a common frustration affecting 73% of people aged 25–35 and 52% of those aged 45–55.1 To put it simply, if you catch yourself replaying social interactions after a party, chances are that most of the other attendees are doing the same thing.
Traditional advice suggests that overthinking is merely thinking “too much,” and the solution is for us to somehow reduce our thoughts. But this approach sets us up for failure. Mindfulness techniques and attempts to quiet the mental noise might offer temporary relief, but they only scratch the surface.
To stop the mental chatter and eliminate unwanted and repetitive thoughts for good, we need to dig deeper. We need to identify and address the unproductive thoughts that are leading us into the spiral. Because what’s commonly labeled as “overthinking” is actually unproductive thinking. And the goal isn’t to stop our thoughts, it’s to make them more productive.
Productive thinking is when you manage your thoughts to support your mental well-being and align with your values and goals. When thoughts are productive, you naturally opt for quality over quantity, eliminating the tendency to “overthink” or judge your thoughts on the disastrously unproductive over/under scale.
Making this seemingly simple shift will have a significant impact. Your mind doesn’t register “don’ts,” so if someone tells you, “Don’t think of a red balloon,” you will likely imagine a red balloon. In all likelihood, you’re picturing one right now because I mentioned it. And if I ask you to deliberately stop thinking about a red balloon, your thoughts may be overrun with red balloons. The more you think about how you don’t want to think about red balloons, the more you think about those darn red balloons. This is similar to when you think about how you want to stop thinking so much and end up thinking more. If you are reading this book, I am sure you can relate.
Being productive in your thinking involves understanding this psychological quirk and actively choosing to focus on what you want, rather than what you don’t. When it comes to “overthinking,” instead of trying to stop the incessant thoughts, which will intensify the mental chatter and frustration, shifting your focus to what you want, to think more productively, will reduce the mental noise. So, rather than saying, “I want to stop thinking as much,” you’d say, “I am going to make my thoughts work for me.”
Ideally, we would have been taught how to think productively in childhood, but traditional education does not put much emphasis in this area. So here you will get a welcome and overdue crash course on how thoughts work and how to make your thoughts productive. These concepts can be tricky so I’ll break them down with just enough detail to provide a practical yet effective understanding. In my experience, this is all the average person needs to know so they can create healthier, more productive thoughts.
But before moving forward, it is important to acknowledge how far you’ve already come. Realizing you are “overthinking” is you becoming aware of your unproductive thoughts. Self-awareness is an incredible skill that, when cultivated, has the power to change your life. While annoying, those repetitive thoughts are forcing you out of your comfort zone so you can build your awareness and come into your true potential. Cheers to you!
- Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2016). Women who think too much: How to break free of overthinking and reclaim your life. Holt Paperbacks.p. 38.
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