Overthinking is a common yet often misunderstood aspect of human behavior. Research shows that the majority of people overthink or think “too much,” and it is now common for people to tell themselves or others that they are “overthinking it.”
However, it wasn’t always this way. Originally, overthinking simply meant to contemplate something, synonymous with “mulling something over” or spending time thinking about it. It wasn’t until the early 1990s that “overthinking” evolved into a judgment of thoughts on an over/under scale.
When you say you are “overthinking,” you suggest there is a just-right amount of thought you need. This self-judgment leads you to think about how you want to stop thinking, which ironically makes you think even more.
This judgment of thoughts joins other abstract concepts we have been taught to judge, like the popular criticism of emotions, “you are overreacting,” or the increasingly common judgment of not being vulnerable “enough.”
These judgments do nothing but get us stuck. If you understood how your thought processes work, you wouldn’t judge your thoughts on an over/under scale; instead, you would identify the thought habits that are causing you trouble. This was exactly my goal when I surveyed over 300 self-identified “overthinkers” to identify the common, unhelpful thought habits that get them stuck.
Through their responses, this article sheds light on the nature of overthinking and provides insights for those who struggle with it. Whether you’re an overthinker yourself or know someone who is, understanding these findings can help manage and mitigate the impact of overthinking on daily life.
Overthinking vs. rumination
“Overthinking” and “rumination” are often used interchangeably, but there is a difference. “Overthinking” involves fixating on the future, while rumination centers around dwelling on the past. Both signify unproductive thoughts.
There is a concept that depression involves thinking about the past, while anxiety involves thinking about the future. “Overthinking” is closely connected to both depression and anxiety. People who are depressed often get stuck thinking about the past, while highly anxious individuals think a lot about the future.
If you are like I was, you do both! Before I learned to manage my thoughts, I would get stuck thinking about embarrassing things I did in the past. I assumed most people ruminated, but the data told me differently.
Of the overthinkers who responded, 83% reported thinking about the future, while only 17% ruminated on the past. After separating the responses into overthinking and rumination, I looked for common triggers for respondents’ repetitive thoughts.
Common triggers
| TRIGGERS | Overthinking | Rumination |
|---|---|---|
| Social Interactions | 40% | 60% |
| Day-to-Day Planning | 31% | – |
| Future Planning | 29% | – |
| Perceived Mistakes | – | 24% |
| Trauma | – | 8% |
| Philosophical Pondering | – | 8% |
Unsurprisingly, social interactions were the primary trigger for both overthinking and rumination. Common social interactions reported included dating, making appointments, not wanting to offend others, and wondering what people meant by what they said.
Besides social interactions, there weren’t any triggers that fit into both the overthinking and rumination categories.
Thinking about the future involved day-to-day planning, such as deciding what to eat for dinner, how to be productive, and making tough decisions. Respondents also reported thinking about future planning, like career goals, certifications, and vacation plans.
For rumination, common topics included perceived mistakes, traumatic experiences, and philosophical pondering, such as wondering why people behave the way they do.
The root causes
Common concepts associated with overthinking, like fear, control, and perfectionism, were present in most responses. However, I noticed something more important. All responses indicated either a fixed mindset, unhelpful thinking habits known as “cognitive distortions,” or low self-confidence. Many displayed two or more of these “root causes.”
For example, if you often worry about what to say in social interactions, it might be due to a lack of confidence and a cognitive distortion called “should thinking.” If you excessively dwell on past mistakes, it likely stems from a fixed mindset and low self-confidence. If you think you’ll never find anything as good after a breakup or job loss, it’s likely due to a fixed mindset and the cognitive distortion known as “all-or-nothing” thinking.
Identifying these three overarching thought habits suggests that if overthinkers focus on building a growth mindset, finding balanced thinking, and increasing their confidence, they can reduce and eventually eliminate excessive thoughts.
Not only excessive thoughts, but they would also be able to reduce concepts associated with overthinking, like depression, anxiety, perfectionism, fear, and an unhealthy relationship with control.
Most people “overthink” and that tracks
Overthinking has become a hot topic, and most people report that they overthink. This is understandable in a world where we are taught what to think, not how. We are taught that we are our thoughts (spoiler alert, you are not your thoughts) and not how to manage our thoughts effectively.
Divisive all-or-nothing thinking gets us depressed and creates challenges as people work to stop overthinking. Leading research suggests women “overthink” more than men, but I cannot find evidence to support this. In fact, there is no evidence to suggest one sex is more emotional, logical, rational, or anything else than the other. The idea that women “overthink” more than men seems to result from divisive thinking itself.
When someone wants to stop overthinking, they often hear one option: stop thinking so much. But if they knew about ironic process theory, they would realize this approach is a dead end. Trying to stop thinking about something only makes you think about it more.
Since we are pressured to find “the one” from early adulthood, it is no surprise people overthink dates. We cannot control if people like us, but we aren’t taught how to have a healthy relationship with control (by focusing on what we can control and accepting what we can’t), so we get stuck in thought loops. Did they like me? Will they call? Without even considering if we liked them.
How to stop overthinking
Common advice to stop overthinking includes using mindfulness techniques and distracting yourself, which is essentially putting a bandaid over a bullet hole. Meditation and distraction are secondary methods that may temporarily help, but you will return to thinking in loops unless you learn to control and manage your thoughts.
Here’s what that looks like:
If you focus on having a growth mindset, then if you mess up a potentially “life-changing” opportunity, you will not think your world is doomed and get stuck thinking about what-ifs. Instead, you would think about how to make the situation better and how to do better next time.
If you work to reduce cognitive distortions in your mindset, you will focus on what you want and need instead of thinking in terms of “nevers” and “shoulds.” Instead of getting stuck thinking about what you “should” have said, you take control of your thoughts and focus on what you will say in similar situations in the future.
Though confidence is not a thought habit, it is influenced by our thoughts. When you focus on how to show up more confidently and increase your confidence, instead of getting stuck thinking about how nerve-wracking trying something new is, you’ll move from thought to action.
Thought management and reflection
We have been taught what to think, not how, which is why people judge their thoughts on an over/under scale and why overthinking indicates a lack of mental health education.
To stop overthinking, you need to learn to reframe your thoughts and identify which thoughts are keeping you in loops so you can find new perspectives.
This is easily said and can be easily done, but you need to build this skill, and it can be frustrating at first. Remind yourself that it will take some time, but the process is worth it. The more you focus on reframing your thoughts, the easier it will become.
While sorting the responses to gather data, it was exhausting reading all the things people overthought about. It reminded me of when I used to feel like I “overthink everything.” But after reframing my thoughts, I realized I wasn’t overthinking everything. There were situations where I had a growth mindset and confidence.
To start reframing your thoughts, take an inventory of where you think the least and try to gather insights on how you perceive those situations. Then, use those perspectives in situations where you tend to “overthink.”
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