Last Updated on October 17, 2023 by the thought method co.

Self-sabotage is when you do things that stop you from reaching your goals or feeling good. People self-sabotage without knowing because they’re used to it, it’s a habit or they were taught to act in self-sabotaging ways. This can make it hard to break the self-sabotaging behavior.

It’s important to notice when you’re self-sabotaging so you can stop doing things that hurt you, feel better, and do your best. 

So let’s talk about how to identify if you are self-sabotaging and how you can reduce self-sabotage. 

9 Biggest Signs of Self-Sabotage 

Negative self-talk

Telling yourself you’re not good at things or that you’re not worth much. Example: Saying “I’m so stupid, I’ll never get this right.”

Fear of Failure or Success

Being scared to try new things because you think you’ll fail, or being afraid of doing too well because you don’t want things to change. Example: Not trying out for a sports team because you think you won’t be good enough.

Wanting Everything to Be Perfect

Wanting everything to be perfect might seem good, but it can stop you from doing things if you’re afraid you won’t be perfect. Example: Spending a lot of time on a project because you want it to be perfect, but then not finishing it.

Being Too Hard on Yourself

If you set really high goals for yourself and get upset when you don’t reach them. Example: Getting really upset because you got one question wrong on a test.

Not Taking Responsibility

Always saying it’s not your fault and blaming things on other people. Example: Not admitting that you didn’t do your homework because you didn’t feel like it.

Constantly Putting Things Off

Waiting until the last minute to do something because you’re scared you won’t do it well. Example: Waiting until the night before to start a project because you’re worried you won’t be able to do it.

Choosing Bad Friends/Lovers

Picking friends who mistreat you might mean you don’t think you deserve good friends. Example: Staying friends with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself.

Thinking You’re Not Good Enough

If you don’t believe in yourself and think you can’t do things, you might be stopping yourself from trying. Example: Not trying out for a team because you don’t think you’ll be good enough.

Ignoring Your Own Needs

If you always help others but never take care of yourself, you might end up feeling tired and unhappy. Example: Not taking a break even when you’re feeling really tired.

How to Reduce Self-Sabotage

Figuring out how you think about yourself can stop you from holding yourself back.

For instance, when Jorge thinks he’s not good at his job, he keeps saying no to new tasks and doesn’t try to move up. Even when people say nice things, he doesn’t believe them. This stops him from getting a better job or more money. 

If Jorge realizes his worries about his skills and tries harder (even though he is scared), he will start doing more and ask for help. Because of this, more people notice him and he eventually gets a better job.

To avoid getting in your own way, it’s crucial to know yourself, make a plan, and work hard to change thoughts and actions that hold you back. It might seem hard at first, but it gets easier over time and is much better than not doing anything at all.